Rules for CIO at Night

[goodnightmoon]

Okay, I wish I had more patience, or could figure out another way to get them to STTN, but I am at my wits end. They go down fine and sleep fine until 1 am. Then they want out. Soooooo, what do I do? Do I just let them cry until they fall asleep? How long does the crying last? We are going on 30 minutes right now. Do you go in every so often to offer a pacifier? How do you know if they're crying because something is actually wrong while CIO? Is it normal for them to flair around their cribs and scream bloody murder?!?!?

I just need to sleep - they are 7 1/2 months old, I thought this was suppose to be getting better?!?!?!

[Mom2two]

I have taken the approach of letting them cry for 5-minute intervals then going in and offering them their soothers, telling them they're okay and patting their backs. I then leave and do it all over again five minutes later. The first week I found they both took about half an hour to settle, but then it finally kicked in that I wasn't picking them up or feeding them and now they both go down without comment. I do the same thing if they wake early in the night. It's hard to sleep through, but the flailing and screaming finally subsides, or at least it did for us. Give it a good week at least. Good luck!

[nycmomma]

I don't think there is any right or wrong, it's a matter of picking a plan and sticking to it. We used CIO for overnight feedings, but I have to tell you that they still wake occasionally overnight. Never for food but I'm still out of bed at least 1-2x a week.

We decided not to go in a soothe them because it wasn't soothing, it just got them more upset. The first night there was 1.5 hours of crying between both babies. The second night only 20 minutes or so and yes, it did sound like they were dying in there. We have a video monitor so I could just watch them to make sure they weren't stuck or something. By the third night, they woke but weren't upset and it took about a month pacifier runs or back rubs for then to truly STTN (some ppl might have made them CIO thru these wakings). Like I said, they still wake now and I'll check on them, sometimes change a diaper and give them a cuddle and they go back down.

I'm using CIO for naptimes now and its much harder now that they're older. I'm having a hard time sticking to my guns and I'm not getting results

Its so hard to hear them upset, I know. My only advice, having had CIO work and not work, is to stick to your plan so your LOs can learn. Good luck.

[notjenny104]

I totally agree with the previous posts. We have just in the past three weeks gotten to "real" STTN. Caroline still wakes up periodically at night, but she fusses for at most 5 minutes, then goes back to sleep. They still wake a little early for my tastes, but they are usually content to "talk" to each other from 6-6:45, so I have no real complaints.

We were exactly where you are at 7.5 months, so I feel your pain. One strategy I used was I only went in if they both woke up and waited 5-10 minutes, then waited 10 minutes, then 15, etc...We did have a few of those 1.5 hour nights but it almost seemed like that was the turning point.

The other thing I have found is after 1-2 nights, the naps also get better, so the night sleeping gets better, they are happier between naps. May not be true for everyone, but my kids are definitely the "good sleep brings good sleep" kids!

It will happen for you, I know I did not believe it six weeks ago, but it is true. We will keep sending good sleep vibes your way!

[Heather4528]

Jumping boards here...but being that I was were you are a couple of months ago I thought I would throw in my 2 cents as well. My boys didn't truly STTN until 10.5 months and they still occasionally wake up and cry briefly. But...we got ourselves off the nightly feedings and sleeping through the night better when I used CIO. As someone else mentioned, there isn't a right or wrong, just whatever works best for you. What worked best for us was to simply let them CIO. We didn't go in to sooth because they just got more upset when we left. At first they would cry for minutes up until an hour but it did get shortly every night and they eventually got it in a couple of weeks time. It amazing how smart they are at just 7.5 months...they will get it and hopefully realize they have to go back to sleep on their own. As for knowing whether something is wrong or they are just crying, my boys scream and have a more high pitch "im hurt" cry when something is wrong...during CIO it was more of whining/im mad cry....so that helped me.

Good luck. I know how frustrating it is. My boys are still waking up at 5am every morning to stay up...we are trying to use CIO to get them to sleep another hour or so but so far it just isn't working.

[kayleeplus2+2more]

Well, IMO CIO doesn't work if you keep going in the room every 5 minutes, but it really is what you feel comfortable with.

[TreTreTre]

When we did CIO we would let them cry for a few minutes, then pop a head in the room to check on them (but not pick them up) then walk out, and repeat every 5-10 minutes. The first week was really rough, then the next not so bad. Cash was STTN every night, but this past week he started cutting a bunch of teeth and has woken up crying twice. Avery wakes up almost every night, but will go right back to sleep with no fuss. Prior to CIO they were waking up 4+ times each night, and not going back to sleep right away!!

[LauraT]

Katherine, I swore I'd never CIO, but did it last night. Mia wants to be unswaddled and Megan, well she's not sure what she wants. They go down so easily, ate at 11:30p and 12m and went down fine. Then both woke up at 3am and I had no idea why. They were ballistic and I realized I didn't know how to soothe them. I could swaddle and sleep with them but it wasn't going to work. So we did the ferber strategy. I let them cry for 2 minutes, went in for 2 minutes, cry for 4, in for 2, cry for 6... you get the idea. Megan was out during the 10 minute one and Mia during the 12 minute. Was a long hour or so. Probably was closer to 1.5 hours. And they were pissed! Then they woke up at 5 and did it all over again. I swear, they just had gone to sleep. I felt like I was making it worse, so I did longer intervals. What I made sure was that when I went in, I stayed out longer than the interval before. It only lasted about 30 minutes this morning.

My problem is both are grabbing my arm when i give them the pacifier and want to be picked up. So, I managed to straddle both cribs and put my hand on their tummy or back. We'll see how it works tonight. They've cried out a few times tonight, but I haven't gone in and it hasn't lasted. I think I'll probably go in after 5, then 10, then 15 minutes... Our big challenge is usually between 3-5am. will keep you posted.

I did think of you though and I didn't feel like crying. I was more tired and feeling like, 'girls, stop! you know how to do this!'

Hopefully it's shorter tonight...

Oh, and that book Baby Sleep Timing that I told you all about months ago... well it says the best time to CIO is 5.5 - 7.5 months. Any time after that, it's not going to work that well.... so it's now or wait unitl 9 months...

[goodnightmoon]

Do our girls know each other or something?!?! Last night was better - just 2 pacifier runs all night.

Originally Posted by LauraT

They were ballistic and I realized I didn't know how to soothe them.

I think this is what upset me and made me feel like a failure - I didn't know what to do. No matter what I did, they cried. And every time I went in there, they just cried harder. And like you said, they wanted to grab my arm if I went in for the pacifier, which they would just spit out to scream some more.

Originally Posted by LauraT

Oh, and that book Baby Sleep Timing that I told you all about months ago... well it says the best time to CIO is 5.5 - 7.5 months. Any time after that, it's not going to work that well.... so it's now or wait unitl 9 months...

I'm glad you mentioned that, more motivation for me to stick to my guns.

Look forward to hearing how it progresses for y'all!

[maggie'smama]

Oh my word, you must all be exhausted. We did Moms on Call when the boys were 12 weeks old and they have slept thru the night since. I highly recommend it.

Our boys go down at 7 pm but wake btwn 5 & 5:30 for the morning. I just went back to work this month after their first birthday and it's killing me. So we have bumped their bedtime up to 8 pm and it is going better, waking at 6-6:30 more often than not.

Good luck, you can do it. You all need your sleep.

[LauraT]

Katherine,
last night went better... i did like 3-4 pacifier runs for each between 4 and 5:30am. I went to bed at 9 so i felt pretty good. I'm exhausted today though... htey're so fussy these days and wanted to be held a lot.

The other weird thing... they wouldn't take full bottles at daycare, but did this weekend. Only 4 bottles a day for each of them this weekend. Hopefully it goes better at daycare this week.

How did you do last night?

[goodnightmoon]

We did it!!!! They each took one paci run before I went to bed, but they slept until 6:15 - not even another paci run! Okay, now I'm knocking on wood!

How did last night work for you?!?!?

I hope the girls do well on 4 bottles at daycare today!

[LauraT]

I had to have Mia cry at 9:30. She woke up and wouldn't settle back down. She had 8oz before she went to bed at 6, so I knew she wasn't hungry. Took 15min. They had their evening bottles late, around midnight instead of 11p. But then slept until 4 and 5 (mia, megan respectvely). Each needed 2 pacifier runs... much better than normal and Megan needed no pacifier runs until 5! I think we're turning a corner.

Daycare was canceled because of hurricane Ida (it's not even coming here!). They took their bottle this morning and I'm holding out until 1 for hteir next one. My plan is only 3 during the day and 1 at night. We'll see... Great job!! One thing I keep reminding myself (when I hear Mia screaming) is that they'll be better with better sleep...

When was their last feeding?

[goodnightmoon]

How did the feedings go today? I am sure daycare has a lot of distractions. Sometimes I think they also give up easier on the feeding... And it's hard when they don't eat well during the day because then when they wake up at night you wonder if they're hungry...

Originally Posted by LauraT

When was their last feeding?

Their last feeding is at 6:30ish. Once I saw they could make it all night w/o eating, I quite feeding them. On rare occasions I'll give them a bottle during the night, but then they it messes up their next day feeding as their not as hungry when they wake up...

I was looking for the praying face for tonight, and I guess they don't have one...but here's hoping!

[kmsvogel]

I am jumping boards here... STTN is so tough... I had one that did it sort of independetly at 5 months and the other after 3-4 tries of CIO she finally slept at night at 8.5 months of age. I tried the moms on call thing. It was a web course that basically gives you a feeding schedule and a napping routine and then says put them in the crib, turn on a noise maker and say good night and don't go in until the morning. Well We don't follow it to a t as the noise machine only lasted 1.5 months, the girs sleep with "sleepy time friends" little skirted stuffed animals that they love. Sometimes on rare occasion I will go in at 5 am and give a bottle to an upset peanut and they put them back to bed but not very often. Usually it makes things much worse if we go in and intervene. We do have a stubborn daughter that screams if things aren't her way and it seems to be endless. At times she has screamed for 2 hrs even I would call my husband (who wroks a liot of night shifts) in tears asking if I should go in and when we stuck to uor guns she finally got the hint that we were done giving bottles, pacifiers and hugs in the middle of the night. She did learn to eat during the day instead of at night. The sad truth for most moms I know though is often once you get it to happen (STTN) you'll have a reaplse with teething or a vacation or whatever and be back at it again. Unless you are one of those totally lucky people. I think I good rule of thumb for mornings and naps is that when they are done sleeping they usually wake up happy. SO if they seem pissed when they first get up give then a few minutes 10-20 and see if they will go back to bed. We have found it makes for much happier babies.

I spend all day showering them with love and attention. I firmly believe it is important to teach them to sleep and set up those boundaries. Good luck.

[LauraT]

They ate really well yesterday and only had 4 bottles all day. They were fussy and hard to have take real naps. Mia ended up taking 5 naps yesterday! Today she was in a veyr good mood. Megan slept for 1hr 15min all day! yikes. I gave them their last bottle at 4:30 because they were hungry and demanding it. Both drank the full 8oz. Then I fed them 2oz of yogurt at 5:30. They love yogurt and will down it all even if they're full. They slept until midnight. Both finished 8oz during the night too. Megan was not swaddled last night so she woke up at 4 and had a hard time getting herself back to sleep. I went in twice to give pacifiers. Mia woke up at 5 and screamed off and on until 6:15. she finally slept another 30 minutes and was much happier.

Not sure how successful we're going to be with the early morning hours, but it's so nice not doing pacifier runs all night!

We'll see how they do at day care today. I'm stretching out bottles for 5-6 hours. I think that helps, they do get good and hungry and drink the whole thing down. I also am trying your schedule today... don't think we'll eliminate the middle of the night bottle, but they were so happy this morning!

[HaydensMommy]

I haven't been very faithful to the CIO - but need to be stricter. I want to go in and check and make sure they are okay. But I know I need ot be firmer or we are going to get way worse here pretty soon...

I am glad it seems to be getting better.

our boys don't eat as well dduring the day and I know it has to be because they are getting a full 6-8 oz at night.

Have to wait til the weekend though....I can't handle no more sleep and then work! LOL

[LauraT]

Mine were doing that too. They are now only eating once in the evening between 11p and 12a. I think spacing out the feedings was totally responsible for their better sleep and better eating. Even daycare noticed a difference. You could just try spacing the feedings out a bit and don't worry about CIO until friday... It only took one night for me. Maybe it was the ear infections, maybe they're just eating better, but they just aren't waking up like they used to.