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Twins-in-School Legislation & twinslaw.com Message Board Moms of twins who want the right to decide whether their multiples will stay together in school are pushing for state laws that will give them those rights. Track and discuss those efforts here.

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  #1  
Old 05-03-2008, 11:29 PM
gsshockman gsshockman is offline
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Default When the teacher "doesn't believe in it" who do you pick?

My boys are in grade 3. I'd like to keep them together for grade 4. The choice is the teachers. Teacher #1 wants both of them, but "yells" and there would not be a lot of common ground children in the class for the boys. We're expericing that now - and some days are uglier than ugly. Teacher #2 has the common ground students, more than just one friend for both boys, BUT, doesnt believe in keeping twins together. SO my friend, a teacher of another grade spoke to her and now thinks I should. Any advice on what I can ask her? Do I want the boys with the yeller who seems to want them? It's been really rough on one of the boys' self esteem to only have the one friend. I can't take another year of that. But if teacher #2 is opposed to them being together....what do i have in store? What do they have in store?
Frustrated ! Any words of wisdom greatly appreciate.
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Old 05-04-2008, 06:18 PM
Surprisedby2 Surprisedby2 is offline
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I would go in with a study that Lucy Tully has done on twins. You can find it through an internet search. I'll try to find it. It was done in England and has shown that many twins that are kept together do better academically and behaviorally. I would explain how you feel that keeping them together is in their best interest at this point. Then say that you have heard such wonderful things from other parents and teachers about her, and you would really love to have both boys with her next year. (Flattery never hurts!)
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Lance, 5

Marley & Marie born @ 37weeks
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Old 05-04-2008, 06:22 PM
Surprisedby2 Surprisedby2 is offline
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Here is the sight.
http://www.teds-environment.com/Tully.pdf
Good luck!
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mom to Nolan, 9
Lance, 5

Marley & Marie born @ 37weeks
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Old 05-04-2008, 06:58 PM
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buckeyegal buckeyegal is offline
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I find it interesting that it's the teachers choice....what's up with that? I'm a teacher, and I've NEVER been given a choice as to who's in my class.....

My vote is for the teacher who wants them. With the other one, you might be 'fighting' her the whole year, KWIM?

As for the yelling, do you mean that she's strict? Or, does she really yell all the time? Maybe she's just had really bad classes....

Good luck!
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Old 05-07-2008, 06:11 PM
m&msmom m&msmom is offline
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Wow, that's a tough one. I've never heard of it being the teacher's decision. I know some schools have it as a policy, but I disagree with that. I think that is a decision that should be left up to the parents with input from the current teacher (if they are in the same class). Parents know their children best and are the ones that have to deal with the results of the decision. I think it just depends on the kids and their personalities. I'm lucky enough that my daughters' school lets the parents choose. I kept them together for K and then separated them for 1st. That was fine, but they asked to be back together this year in 2nd. So we did it and it's been fine. Their teacher said she didn't see that it mattered for them, so I'm keeping them together in 3rd too.
The friend problems notwithstanding, I'm leaning toward the "yeller" just because I think that the other one might make it harder on them. If there would be any problems during the year, she would probably be likely to just blame it on them being in the same class. On the other hand, having them both might change her opinion that "all" twins need to be separated. I understand about the "yeller", though. I purposely requested my girls out of a class like that this year, but I've also noticed that she doesn't yell as much this year as she did when I would go in for lunch last year. She has some new techniques to get the kids to quiet down. I know a lot people requested not to have her so I wonder if the principal said something to her.
Anyway, I can't tell for sure, but it sounds like you have friend issues as well. I can totally sympathize with that--see the Handling Friends thread for more on that if you're interested.
People always think that once twins get out of babyhood they are so much easier. They always say that to me. BLAH BLAH! It's just hard in a different way. There's always some new issue that people without them don't understand.
I don't know if my rambling helped (sorry), but hopefully at least you don't feel alone.
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Old 05-08-2008, 10:55 AM
kathy dolan kathy dolan is offline
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Default Email me through Twinslaw.com and I will send you all you need!

Most often educators who believe that twins should be separated are unaware of the reasons to keep them together. If you email me directly through http://www.twinslaw.com I will send you everything you need to help you change the "nice" teachers mind. All is available on the website, but there more I would like to share with you.

Good Luck,
Kathy Dolan
Founder
http://www.twinslaw.com
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