I want to pull my hair out!!!

[Leli476]

Ok ladies,since I am officially a March mommy and both my babies are in special care I am in need of support/advice/ anything! Babies are doing great on everything except feedings. We will have a few good bottle feeds and then a few where we have to tube them.well the nurses are stupid (IMO) and don't make any sense to me. The dr is a foreign jerk and he just makes me cry when he talks to me because he thinks I am young and stupid, when in all reality I have studied brain development. I HAVE MY DEGREE IN EARLY CHILDHOOD!!! I have done all my research and all my specialists have told me do not separate the babies they wont thrive as well if they are separated. For the first 4 days they were separated and not even in the same room. Driving me crazy so i talked to the night nurse and she got them moved into the same room today. They seem to do a lot better!! IMAGINE THAT! I am really just frustrated and wanting my babies!!!!! I think it is so hard because they are so close yet the feedings aren't getting any better. MOMS HELP Postpardum has set in I do believe.
I cry when I leave the nursery and cry all night!

[Lisah+4]

I'm sorry you are having difficulty with the babies doctor. My babies were in the NICU for 5 weeks. We were told that when they were in the incubators they keep them separate because they need to be able to figure out the babies ability to regulate temperature and because of the wires. How much are they being tube fed? I think part of the problem is the way hang the feedings is harder to do when they share a crib. Once they were strong enough to come out they did co-bed them. If you are not getting anywhere with the doctor I would talk with the charge nurse or whomever is in charge on the NICU to ask what the policy is and what the concerns are. My babies were separated for 4 weeks of the NICU stay bvut seemed to love being together. I notice my babies tend to calm each other down when they are together!

[grapeapeaf]

I can't relate at this time, but I did want to say that I am sorry you are going through this. I know postpardium depression is awful and it has to be worse when you are seperated from your babies. I hope you can find a sympathetic nurse who will listen to your concerns.

[twinkietime]

I totally understand what you are going through!! My boys were in the NICU for 4 weeks, and I also cried almost every time I had to leave them. It's very normal to be feeling that way. It was the hardest four weeks of my life. One encouraging thing with bottle feeding is that they can all of the sudden take off in one day. I thought that we would be in the NICU for another week, when we were able to come home 2 days later. That's how quickly they caught on. I'm sorry that you are going through this. My boys also were not put together because the nurse said that the Dr. wouldn't allow it. I wish they could have been put together, but now at home, we don't even put them in them in the same crib. Our boys don't do any better being close to eachother. Just remember that this will go by faster than you think and you will have them home with you before you know it!!!

[Twins!]

As one of the NICU doctors told me, it'll be like a light going on -- they'll take to bottle feeding that quickly. We thought my twins might have another couple of days in the nicu and one night, they took all their feedings in the bottle (had been getting every other feeding through the tube), and they came home the next day.

Mine were in the same suite, but were never in the same isolette or open crib. The doctors wouldn't permit it. Once they got home, they've found ways to scoot across the crib to "find" each other and cuddle.

I hope you find some sympathetic doctors/nurses. If not, you have us here!

[LPE]

I can't even imagine how hard it must be with the stress and sadness you feel. Just try to take comfort in the multitude of people on this board who have been through similar situations. My twins did not do NICU time, but I did have postpartum depression, and I know what it's like to cry all night.

Call all of your troops, supporters, family, friends and let them rally around you. Try to get some sleep because you will be better for the babies if you are rested. Talk to your doctor about how you are feeling, and if he/she doesn't listen, keep telling people how you feel until someone does.

Sending much love and prayers your way,
-Loren

[firefly]

I know what you are going through. The NICU is a very heartbreaking place for parents. I used to cry all night long as well for the first few days. Don't worry they will just suddenly "get" the bottle feeding concept. Once that happens, everything improves.
Mine weren't able to be in the same incubator either, due to the wires,monitors, needs etc... hospitals have differing policies on this, the majority of them do keep the babies seperate .They did move them side by side for me though.Maybe ask them to do that, mine were right next to each other. As soon as they got home, I placed them in the same bed(and they are still sharing)

They'll be home before you know it, hang in there Mama! :aww:

[teresab]

Hang in there honey!! I hope you are getting help from your doctor if you have PPD and not the "baby blues." While they are in the NICU may be a good time to see a therapist to talk things out.

Good luck!

Teresa

[mulanycc]

I am so sorry you are going through this right now. One of my boys is in the NICU and one is home and it is so hard to leave the nursery, I can barely stand it so I know how you are feeling. I keep telling my husband that if I don't have ppd, I will get it because of this situation. We just have to hang in there and keep reminding ourselves this is only temporary. I would just keep repeating your request to the dr or anyone else that will listen. At least you will know you were persistant and didn't back down.

[Alison5280]

I am sorry you are going through all of this. I work for a pediatric hospital and my advice is that if you are not being heard by your children's caregivers, go to the information desk and ask how you contact the patient advocate. Every hospital has them, or something similar (they might call them ombudsman, or something else). It is their job to 'bridge the gap' between the parents and the caregivers, so that parents can be assured that their babies are getting the care they need. You are right that twins usually do better when they are near each other, but having them in the same isolette is not always possible early on. If that is the case here, then the doctor or one of the nurses should be able to explain to you why that is and what their plan is for reuniting the babies.

Don't take any shine from anyone! Go find the patient advocate and just tell them that it is a very emotional, difficult time for you and you don't feel like there is good communication between you and the caregivers. Good luck and keep us posted on how everyone is doing.

[Leli476]

well we were so close to bringing Bethany home! She did 7 full feedings (almost a whole 24 hours) of bottle feeds and then just pooped out on us!! UGH... now some of the nurses are telling me they may have to keep them until their due date (4 more weeks!) It is just one thing after another. BUT I did get their nurse last night to put them in the same open crib last night. I am going to ask how that went when I get a chance to get up there today. I try not to go up there but once a day because it is hard when I leave and I don't want to overstimulate them and tire them out before their feedings! They are slowly improving but this waiting game sucks! I feel like I have been through hell and back everytime I come home. I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to have my babies home with me. Thanks for all the encouragement and well wishes. All the prayers are seeming to help!!! Bless all of you that have had to go through this. We deserve a medal!

[Lisah+4]

Don't stress about Bethany getting pooped for a feeding. We had a similiar issue with Bailey, she would eat great all day but always be pooped out for the 3 am feeding ( she still only really takes one full feeding at night, the other she just takes a few sips). In the end the neonatologist was happy that she gained weight consistantly and was able to increase her intake at other feedings. If she is gaining weight consistently stress that point.
Also every nurse wil tell you something different. I made sure I was there everyday before rounds to see how the night went and then ask my questions. I found that when the nurses did rounds with the docs they asked my specific questions and I was able to guide some stuff. If I was unhappy with what happend in rounds the doc was there to discuss it with me afterwards. I found that really helpful!
I know how hard it is now ( we were in the NICU for 5 weeks), but just keep telling yourself that they are doing what's best for the babies and in the end you want to make sure when they are finally ready to come home they do not have to be re-admitted a few days later!

[CATwin]

Your doc took an oath to do no harm. Sounds to me he is trying to force you to do something contrarary to the care you want. You have all rights to go with what you know is best for yor babies. You are the one who should make the decissions. He has no right to cause you to be upset and cry. He is there as a medical advisor not the decision maker!

I had to stand up to my docs for the care I wanted despite what they wanted to do. The outcome was totally ours. And yes, they made me cry too.