Name vent: My mother is driving me INSANE!!

[Kabrielle]

My mom and I best friends, which is fabulous. I feel very lucky to have her around to help. I love that she is so close to me -- except there are times when there is a fine line between friends and being a mother. My mom doesn't like our boy name and has been very vocal about it, and we have a couple girl names we are tossing around. She loves one and doesn't like the other. I thanked her for her opinion and concern but we will make up our minds and let her know. I was trying to maintain my cool but finally I huffed and said, "MOM!" in that tone and said I wasn't going to discuss it anymore and that if we didn't change the subject, I was going to hang up. I have too much other stuff to be anxious about and I'm totally miserable - I don't need her getting me all flustered about the names too. I told her my husband and I will decide and let her know. She said she just needed to know now and was really forceful about it-- then I started thinking after we got off the phone she was having something printed with their names on it as a gift and that's why she was being so persistant? I told her I had to go. It's not her choice and I know its most important that DH and I like it, but since are so close I do want her to like the name too but GEEZ. There are people who are going to like your names, and people that won't.

Maybe I wouldn't have shared with her until the end if I had to do this over. Anyone else have very opinionated relatives??? :stress:

[OlgaL]

I can relate:) My dad was the same way - he did not like our boy's name and started calling with the names he preferred.... until I told him that when he growth up and has his own kids, he can name them whatever he likes:D

[ginlett]

Sounds like my mother. When I was pregnant with my youngest daughter (now 5), we didn't tell anyone what we were naming her until right before she was born - mainly because we didn't want ANY input from my mother.

I guess enough time passed between that pregnancy and this one that she thought it would be okay to constantly give us suggestions on names. One of the names she couldn't believe I wouldn't consider for our girl is Vera! ;-)

My husband and I picked the names of our babies and then we shared that information when we were ready to, in a very matter of fact way. I really don't know if my mom likes the names or not, but it put a stop to all her name suggestions, thank goodness. She was driving me crazy as well.

[TwinGirls08]

I can relate to being upset with your mother - I think it's the hormones, too. I was never particulary close to my mom, but the feelings I have for her now are so not daughterly or even friendly!!! I swear, one wrong move on her part and that might be it... I just hope it'll pass and get better rather sooner than later!

Try to keep you cool - this, too, shall pass!

[Shannon]

My mom is my best friend aswell, we talk 4-5 times a day so I know how "best friend mom's" can be.
My DH and I aren't telling a single person what we are naming our babies just for the fact that we don't want that sort of imput. They're OUR babies.

I know it's not even CLOSE to the same thing, but when we got our dogs I don't think that there was one person who liked the names that we picked for them and they told us how weird their names were (we gave them Tibetan names...they are Tibetan dogs), but just the other day my dad (and if you knew my dad...he's a trucker/cowboy...you would know he would say something like this) said, I couldn't call your dogs by any other name....they are so "Dakini" "Daka" and "Dorje", their names fit them so well. So you name your babies what YOU and DH want and who cares what other ppl think!!

[amiasmom]

My MIL still calls my daughter Rose (her name is Amelia). My sister in-law actually named her daughter Rosemary, and she still insists on calling her Rose! It's my mother in law, so I know it's not quite the same as your own mother pulling this kind of stunt, but I feel for you!

[grapeapeaf]

You wouldn't believe how many people told us how much they hated the name Zander but we named our DS that anyway and have never regreted it. My mom has even come around to say that it is cute and fits him. We are getting the same type of reactions to our choice of names this time-Zoey Eve and Drake Michael. Again we are just choosing to smile and pretend that we don't even hear them. DH loves the names and I am happy that we chose them together so honestly the rest is minor details to me. I am sorry to hear though that your mom is being that way-it makes it hard when you are close.

[Kabrielle]

Thanks for the comments ladies. What gets me is that if someone told me their baby name and I didn't like it, I'd keep my freakin' mouth shut. It's just rude. It's not my style, but its also not my child. I know its different when its a close relative, but its not like we're naming her "Quagknox" or something Klingon. :snicker:

[twinsarefun777]

Umm oh boy, I was the irratating mom who didnt like the names either. But on my behalf she asked my opinion ( I was truthful ) , but I told her they are your babies and name them what ever you want. Like you say you could never please everyone and they are your babies. I love his name the more it was said, and I couldnt picture him with any other name. My daughter did get to the point where she told other people she hadnt decided the names yet because all are so opinionated. I wouldnt worry about it and if you really know what the name is going to be and your not undecided just state that fact to your mom it will grow on her, if she is like me she probably did want to have things made with the name on it.:)

[karen_p]

Just last night I shared our potential names with a friend who was over for dinner. She reacted really negatively and said 'ugh, Jeff, that's an awful name. it's the name of blah blah blah.'

I said to her 'just so you know, in the future, when people share their names with you, they don't want to hear your negative comments and you should just keep that information to yourself.' Boy my husband was pissed at me for being so rude.

My relatives would never say anything outright, but the silence on the other end of the phone would be enough to tell me everything they're not saying.

Ask your mother whether she'll love the babies any less if they are named x and y. That should silence her for a bit.

[mmgeyer]

I know its different when its a close relative, but its not like we're naming her "Quagknox" or something Klingon. :snicker:

Oh darn, we were considering that one. :snicker:

At first we told everyone that we were not revealing the boys' names until birth, but that we were open to suggestions - because some friends of ours had an absolute nightmare of a time with their parents wanting to have a say in the names. I guess we don't have particularly opinionated families because no one gave us any, even though they were invited. :shrug:

We chose the names we both liked, and then presented it as fact, not open to negotiation, just in case. Neither grandma-to-be has said anything one way or the other...and the only reason we revealed ahead of time was because we have started talking to them using their names, and my partner slipped in front of my MIL. :snicker:

[dancingmom]

When I was pg with DS we chose not to reveal his name until he was born. Not so much because we didn't want to hear everyone's opinion but more so there would be a surprise when he was born. We knew he was a boy so keeping the name left at least some surprise when he was born. Not too many people bugged us about it but my MIL was one of them. She kept trying to trick us into telling or asking if we would tell if she guessed it right. She finally gave up, thinking that if she guessed it right we wouldn't tell her and would change it. After all the thought we put into picking it I would not change it because of that. We are doing the same thing with these boys and no one has really even asked us about them. They just expect that we aren't telling until they're born so that has been nice. We haven't actually finalized the names yet but are getting close. I don't think we will assign names to Baby A or B until we see them. I think no matter what you do some people won't be happy and that's just too bad.

[boybill]

My inlaws HATED the name Cairo, and made sure we knew it. But once they met him, I don't think they would have cared if we named him Cpt. Kirk!! No matter what you name your babies, once they are hear nobody would dare say boo about their names. My MIL now thinks Cai is a good name, though I doubt she'll ever call him Cairo.

[springtwins2008]

You're right, she is prob. having something specially made. but still, it is self centered of her to just think of that and not you and what you are going through...a bit compulsive/obsessive on her part.

Just tell her to back off..
I'm close to my mom and I find it humorous, the silence on the phone when I state a name she does not like...but my mom's old and is easy to Push Back on.

Just don't discuss names with her again. Once the ink is dry on the birth certificate, she'll have to be quiet and stew on her own...
good luck

[jaimedawn]

we've told everyone our names and have gotten a lot of mixed reactions..it doesnt bother us at all bc we are confident that they are the right names for our daughters. when i first told my mom their names were ruby and eden, she hated the name ruby (she didnt say that, but i could tell from her reaction). since then, she has grown to LOVE it and now she comments all the time how she thinks it is the sweetest girls name. sometimes names just have to grow on people. and also, once your mom meets your babies, she will be so in love that their names will instantly become her favorite name. does that make sense???

[armyranger'sgirl]

that has to be frustrating but it sounds like you are standing your ground!! that is important!! YOU GO GIRL!!!

[anippy]

Anyone else have very opinionated relatives??? :stress:

:funny: :lmao: :lol: :nod:

That's why hubby and I will not reveal our twins' names (IF we pick them before birth, which I doubt). 2-1/2 yrs on and I'm still gettting crap about my son's name. And the fact that he's not potty trained. And still drinks his milk from a bottle. Blah blah blah.

[momof2]

We shared our names throughout....just as I have here. I like to get feedback, because sometimes you don't think of something. But I dismiss all of the "I knew a guy in school...blah blah blah".

For me, I like to get the broad feeling that they might encounter as they grow up and are introduced for the first time.

I LOVE our name choices now, and my family took awhile to warm up to Fletcher, but from the beginning one was a Fletcher, and now they are liking it alot too. It just not heard of that much and I think it scares them.

My dad commented that Fletcher was a meat company, but he didn't dislike the name. He is okay with Bradford, and even with the name Ford, tho he said he will get called Brad.

[devx4]

My mom does the same thing EVERYTIME. With my first two pregnancies me and DH did not know what we were having so we always picked 2 names (boys & girls) and my mom would absolutely hate one of the names everytime. And what was funny is that ended being the sex of the child we had both times :) Now she absolutely LOVES their names. This time around she keeps telling everyone how much she hates one of our twins names and how she prays we change it. I told my DH that, that particular name is soooo definite now just because she is being SOOOOO annoying. But I love her anyways!! :snicker: