Birth bummer

[grapeapeaf]

So my DH works 2 weeks out of town and then one week home. He is home this week and I am 35 weeks pregnant. He will leave Sunday night and won't be home for two weeks-April 14th. They want to do my c-section April 10th. I tried to get them to move it to the 14th but my dr is out of town and the remaining dr is too busy unless it is an emergancy. DH has only been at his job for a month so it is looking like they won't give him the time off. We need this job so he can't make them mad either. I am so frusterated. :cry:

[kayleeplus2+2more]

I am so sorry to hear that, that would be terrible. BUT You don't have to show up at the hospital do you? If you haven't gone into labor naturally, they can't FORCE you to go, just wait until your body is ready.

[Kabrielle]

I'm so sorry to hear that -- would his job at least be flexible and let him come home early for the c/s and then go out of town a little earlier?

[hutile]

I am so sorry to hear that, that would be terrible. BUT You don't have to show up at the hospital do you? If you haven't gone into labor naturally, they can't FORCE you to go, just wait until your body is ready.

Ditto!
I'd wait for dh to be back..unless you go into labor by yourself.

[zoogrammie]

Maybe if he explains to his job they would allow some flexibilty. It's not like you'd be giving birth again next month :) But if he is like alot of men, he won't even ask, would he get too upset if you did? I can't imagine not having him there, or him dealing with missing it. I agee with the pp, just don't show up and then deal with the dr office to schedule when he can get there. Its not they can fire you!!!! Happy baby growing, jodie

[Mommy2BAK]

oh no! I hope things work out! Do you have lots of family that will be by your side if your hubby isn't able to be there?

[Lunaspace]

Hi April. It seems very inhumane of his employer to not let him miss at least 2-3 days, for the birth of a child, much less 2!! I know he will not be covered under FMLA, becasue he has not worked there long enough, but gee whiz! Has his asked the correct people? I know he needs the job and they don't know his track record yet, but I think you could give someone new the benefit of the doubt- he can bring proof!

I hope he will be there for the birth, you will be in my thoughts!

With much love,
Michelle

[Nicole734]

April, I am so sorry to hear that. I agree with others, could he come back early and be there that day then go back to work? That way he would be there and only really miss one day.

Do you live near family?

[Lisah+4]

April, I am so sorry to hear that. I agree with others, could he come back early and be there that day then go back to work? That way he would be there and only really miss one day.

Do you live near family?

I agree, they may be a bit flexible if they know what s going on. It never hurts to ask!! I hope everything works out.

[shamrockLily]

(((April)))

I'm sorry you're dealing with this kind of stress as you prepare for the birth of your babies. As pp said, it couldn't hurt to ask for some flexibility in scheduling. I would be amazed if your husband's employer would deny him the chance to take part in his children's birth.

[momof2]

I agree, no good employer would deny his staff being present at their childs birth. After all it is scheduled, and only one day...it'd be nice if he could have a few days with you.

However if he has a crappy boss, I really feel for you, and hope he doesn't have to stay there long, life will miserable if his boss controls him over family like this.

Have you got a family member to step in, and video tape...so he can see it later?

Good luck either way, but he should be allowed to be there...it's not right for them to deny that once in a lifetime kinda thing, esp since you are having twins.

[tmoana]

oh, that really sucks! I hope you guys are able to figure out a way to work it all out! I with others that the employer would probably allow it, but at the same time, if it were me and it were a brand new job, I'd be scared to even ask!

[ginlett]

It never hurts to ask. My husband had just started a new job not long before I had our daughter. She was not a scheduled c-section, but he let them know about her due date and asked about time off and they ended up letting him have two weeks off.

When will your doctor be back? Is your c-section scheduled for 37 weeks? Maybe they'd reschedule it for 38 weeks if your doctor's back? I would consider doing what others have suggested and just wait it out.

I hope it will work out!!

Ginger

[MaasLKN]

I am not exactly sure how it works, but you should check into the FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act). I think it's a federal law that requires companies to give time off due things like the birth of your children. I know that here the federal law is better than the state law so federal is what we are given. My DH can take up to 12 weeks off for a birth or adoption of a child. It would also kick in due to a family illness. It doesn't say that you will be paid for your time off, just that you are able to take it. Check it out!

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) requires private employers with 50 or more employees and all public agencies, including state, local, and federal employers, and local education agencies (schools), to provide eligible employees up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave in any 12-month period for certain family and medical reasons.

I tried to get a link, but some how it's not working. Just type in FMLA Law and you should be able to find out more.
Lori

[Nicole734]

April,
I forgot to mention this is my first post, but my second son came a little early and happened to be born on the very first day of my husband's job. Needless to say he did not make it to work that day. He also took a whole week off and they were okay with it.

I hope all works out for you.

[Kabrielle]

I am not exactly sure how it works, but you should check into the FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act). I think it's a federal law that requires companies to give time off due things like the birth of your children. I know that here the federal law is better than the state law so federal is what we are given. My DH can take up to 12 weeks off for a birth or adoption of a child. It would also kick in due to a family illness. It doesn't say that you will be paid for your time off, just that you are able to take it. Check it out!

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) requires private employers with 50 or more employees and all public agencies, including state, local, and federal employers, and local education agencies (schools), to provide eligible employees up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave in any 12-month period for certain family and medical reasons.

I tried to get a link, but some how it's not working. Just type in FMLA Law and you should be able to find out more.
Lori

I think you have to have worked at your job for 12 months before you can use FMLA, but I'm not 100%.

[grapeapeaf]

Thanks for all the support you guys. DH said he mentioned it to his boss and his boss said we will wait and see what happens. Which is true I suppose-with him working 4 or more hours away if I was to go into labor on my own he wouldn't make it home in time anyway. So I guess we just play it by ear-I am just getting anxious and want to know what is going to happen-I hate not being able to plan!