i am getting deployed

[ethmegdav]

first of all thank you to all of those who wrote back and gave me their view. the sad reality of it is that there is no negotiation with this woman. she doesnt care if ethan and maegan have me in their lives and has asked me twice to sign over my parental rights on two separate occasions. i asked her how that is in ethan and maegans best interests and she ignores me.

i have tried to remind her how her not having a father in her life affected her self esteem and she doesnt respond to that either. she just goes from one man to the next, one after the other and always complaining to the next one she meets that her current man isnt treating her right. she never takes any responsibility for anything she ever does or says.

i am getting deployed to iraq soon. i will take her back to court when i make it back home. i am a combat medic. hopefully that will win points with the court. i hope to some day live nearer to my children. when i hear people say "ugh, these kids are driving me crazy" i think to myself "wish i could relate". my friends wonder why i am so into their kids and doing things with their kids and i guess its because i dont have my own here with me.

[jeanie]

Im sorry she is the way she is...this is not good for the children if she goes from man to man..what she is really doing is looking for her father in these men..she needs counceling. Your a very loving dad to care the way you do about this and hope you do decide to go to court when you come back. I just want you to know your country appreciates you so much for serving as a Medic and helping the wounded and for being of service!! when do you get to visit with your children and is it supervised I may have missed a post I think I read something of that nature..fathers are SUCH AN IMPORTANT part of kids lifes..sometimes my kids go nuts and dont listion to me at all..then daddy steps in and they straighten right up within minutes..Its good that you want to be such a part of your kids lifes.

[ethmegdav]

my visits are not supervised. she never had any legit concerns about me with the kids anyway. i have asked her many times what her concerns were and she never answered me. if she was the concerned she would be able to articulate them right? she uses my children as pawns because she has nothing else to come at me with. i drive or fly as often as i can. when i am working steady i usually get one visit in each month. she has lived in the south since she was 13 and her dad lived in the mid atlantic area. i asked her how many times in the years she was growing up down there did her father drive to see her. she ignored me as ususal. oh well. she is a pretty pathetic person and she knows it. she has some new guy living with her for now and my daughter said that he spaked her and also my son. i called her up and told her that he wasnt to do that and if he ever did that again he would have me in his face.

[Mom of 5]

Dave, I hope you can see your beautiful children again before you leave for your tour of duty. May God bless you and watch over your children.

Write them letters, draw them pictures, and send cards, and pcitures of yourself, to them. You will always be their real dad, no matter what happens, and they will know you care about them if you keep in touch often.

Remember that even if she says she wants to get a piece of paper saying you're not their father, that will not make it so. You still are and always will be. Stay in their lives in every way possible. Make sure your interactions with them are positive. When they are older, they will want their real father, and they'll have more say about that, too.

Don't give up on your rights (and their rights!) to getting more time to BE with them, even if years go by before you return to the US.

Thank you for your service to our country.