ok, i take it back, lets vent

[ethmegdav]

when my wife and i were married i watched her two children almost every weekend. one was 3 1/2 and the other was 14 months and still in diapers. when she and i were together i was never questioned about my parenting skills, i was never questioned on anything. in fact i can tell you that i did a much better job than my wife ever did and i could gon on for days about that. she and i separated when she was 3 months preg with our twins for reasons i wont go into except to say that some was my fault and some was hers. when my children were born she had another man in delievery room with her, someone she had known before she and i got married. then when we went to court she asked for supervised visits when i see my children. no explanation, no nothing. when i asked her about this she blamed the judge, she said "sorry david, but that's what the judge ordered". this coming from someone who has no clue what she is doing and, no i didnt know how bad she was at it until we got married. she tried all she could to limit my time with my children after putting virtually no restrictions on when and where i could take her children and after never putting any restrictions on her first husband. she has done everything she can to limit my time with my kids and to put it plainly its all she has against me. i wasnt a drunk or a drug addict, i never hit her and never cheated on her. she expects me to say nothing to her. she hates her biological father because he never had anything to do with her. why does she want my children to feel the same way about me? what do i do when she uses my kids the way she does?

[jeanie]

I must tell you its so great to have a dad on the boards! and to get a mans point of view and to hear a dad vent. I will read your post closely again later when kids are in bed and send you a reply about your post..you sound like a very good dad Im sorry youve gone through what you have gone through..hugs.

[ethmegdav]

but please remember that i am not blamless in all of this. i made mistakes too but i dont know why ethan and maegan have to suffer for it.

[Jane]

Sounds like you need to go back to court and clear your name with the judge.

[my3sweeties]

Sounds like you need to go back to court and clear your name with the judge.
That's what I was going to say...fight back in court.

[twinsarefun777]

First I want to tell you your children are gorgeous. Does your wife get along with you good? If she does I would have a heart to heart about how much you know the kids need her , but how much you need to be involved with them too. I really would try that route first and if it doesnt work quickly go through the courts. Your wife might be feeling scared of you trying for custody or many other things. If you can get her to go along with that in a short amount of time, make sure you go through the courts too so its documented, you do not want the rug pulled out from you later. But I would boost her ego tell her how much the kids love her need her first then go on to say how important it is you spend time and make sure she knows that you know how special she is to the kids. You have to go for the heart and make her feel reassured she may also have her knew male friend putting in his two cents but whatever you do try and keep it civil. It is so nice to see a daddy wanting to be in his childrens life, bite the bullet and kiss up much luck to you. This is only my opinion others may have different advice do whats best for you.

[Mom of 5]

Dave, you sound like a very caring father. From what you have told us, your kids are really missing out, not having you in their lives every day.

Have you petitioned the court for more time with your twins?

Have you reminded your wife (gently) of how she was affected by her own father's absence? Why would she want to deny a father away from her own children? Are the older kids you helped to raise there with her now?

If she won't talk to you or listen to you, be sure to do whatever you can from far away. Send your children cards in the mail. Make sure they get to know how much you love them. Even a very good step-father is not a replacement for knowing your are in your Daddy's heart and mind every day.

I hope that you can get more time with your twins. Is there anything we can do to help you?

:pray:

[Ma Kettle]

Get a better lawyer. Seriously, if there is nothing giving an indication that you could flee with or harm the children then any DECENT lawyer should at the minimum be able to get normal UNsupervised visits.

Will post more when I get the time.