4 Yrs old SCREAM when 2 yr old wants to play!!

[meems1965]

This sounds like a basic, silly question I should be able to handle on my own. BUT... I need advice! Every day, it is the same thing. Starting when they get up at 7am or earlier.

DS will set up his trains on the train table or in his room. Age 2 DS comes in and messes it up. Screaming and crying ensues. yelling and crying.

DD sets up her dollhouse. She keeps her door closed to keep out boys. Two year old DS comes in anyway and knocks over dollhouse. DD is in fetal position on the floor screaming GET OUT OF HERE.

I have tried Time Outs but he just turned two so I dont think he really gets it. I have tried putting them all in their own rooms but unless I am in there playing with him, he really cant be in his own room by himself. He will just cry! I dont want him to cry himself to sleep if its not nap time. Plus I dont want him just in there crying!! Plus, he knows how to get out by breaking off the Door Knob Cover Locks on his doorknob. So he'll just come out anyway.

It is really getting to the point where I cant take it. I dont know what else to do. I dont want to yell. I try to explain to the 4 year old twins that their younger brother is only two - a baby, but lets face it, when you are 4, that is not a good explanation.

I try to redirect the baby but he really wants to be with his big siblings!! he doesnt want to be alone or with me if they are here playing!

Do I just deal w/ this for another year or two, hoping they grow out of it and I am not admitted to a mental institution in the meantime? Or is there a solution?

[Mammabear07]

I don't know what to tell you. I babysit my 18 month old nephew full time & when he gets into my kids stuff that they don't want him to play with I have them tell him NO sternly & then give him a toy he can play with & encourage him to play with that toy instead. He does still sometimes try to get into their stuff but I just keep having my kids handle it, if I try the 18 month old throws a fit.

[Steph211]

You've got a tough, but very normal situation. Both your twins and your younger son are learning very important lessons about how to get along though and what it means to be a family. Do all your kids have their own rooms? It seems fair to me that if a child is playing in his/her room, that should be his/her own space and they shouldn't have to deal with younger siblings destroying things. I would do your best to make it clear to the youngest that when his big bro or big sis are in their rooms, they are having private playtime. If possible, you could play with him in his room for a bit or something. He's bound to be upset to be excluded from the big kids' play, but that's just part of life. Maybe make a deal with the big kids that if they play with their younger brother for 20-30 min, then they'll get at least that amount of time free of him while they play with their stuff in their rooms.

I'm not sure time outs would work in this situation. It doesn't sound like your youngest is deliberately being "bad" it sounds like he is just tryingto participate in his 2 year old way. But it's important to set limits on what he can get away with with his older sibs. If he cries, well, tough, everyone needs their space. The big kids do need to understand that their little brother can't quite understand rules and manners about playing like they do. Hopefully there can be times during the day when the kids play together but also time when they can play privately.

Obviously you're just in a bit of a rough spot with the developmental levels of your kids not quite meshing. : ) Hang in there! It will pass eventually!