Ma kettle and those with many lovies..

[jeanie]

ok girls whats normal..my nicky runs around constantly..he runs over to his sisters hits them then runs away...he hits me when Im doing dishes or another chore..he is defiant and wont listion he is in time out and gets out of it he wont stay and Im doing it just as super nanny says..I am tough with my kids the girls are well behaived he is driving me insane!!!! then he will tell me he loves me and ask me if I am mad at him I tell him no..but inside Im screaming..is he hyper or normal?? what about your boys...ps the preschool teacher says he is super behaived somethin wrong with this picture folks!!!

[Ma Kettle]

It's normal for little kids (both boys AND girls) to go through stages of temper.

Why would you tell him you aren't angry? Be honest with him. Tell him you always love him no matter what (and yes he WILL test that), but that sometimes you get frustrated and upset with him because you love him SOOO much that you want him to be safe and learn well so that when he gets older he'll grow up to be the best man he can be. Or just simply say 'I'm getting angry right now because you are hurting your sisters.'

He needs to learn to TALK to you when he is feeling left out or bored or angry. He can only do that if YOU show him by example that it's OK to feel angry, bored, left out, whatever. He needs to know that YOU feel that way sometimes too and this is what YOU do when you feel that way.

That's your start. Example. With kids you can't just assume they see what you do. You have to narrate. Talk to yourself out loud. It's required. It may feel awkward at first but start simple... when you are doing an unpleasant chore talk to yourself outloud. 'WELL, I'd rather run and play with my little man but the dishes need to be done. I don't LIKE to do them but if I don't get them we won't have clean dishes for snacktime and the kitchen will get stinky. If I get them done quickly maybe I'll have some extra time to make cookies for snack and Nicky can help........

think out loud. So he can learn from your own thought process.

Andy is my worst for doing things like that. He gets bored, frustrated, angry.... and lash out at whoever or whatever happens to be nearest. We're working on that. When he does I remind him that should use his words try to fix the problem or ask for help. USUALLY there is a source to the issue.

Josh used to have the same issues but thank goodness has gotten past that.

[Rudy]

:aww: He sounds busy but normal.

You might want to read a book called "Raising your Spirited Child" if you have time. I think it would really fit for Nicky.

One of my boys will do things and constantly ask for hugs and 'I love yous' when he knows he's in trouble. I finally started saying "I love you but I"m very upset. I need a minute and then I'll hug you." Sometimes I'd say why I was upset (what he did). I called his time outs 'taking a minute' so that made some sense to him. I called them that btw because I couldn't get him to stay put either. He is very preseptive so when I hugged him when I was mad he knew something was off and it made him feel more insecure. I think it is better to let him know I'm upset but save the hug for when I feel it kwim?

Good luck and hang in there.

[jeanie]

very good words of wisdom girls and Im getting that book tommorow. thankyou both.