mizuza
02-13-2008, 11:16 AM
the problem/new behaviour is this, Finley keeps telling Hamish "NO" and Hamish takes it as gospel gets really upset angry but does nothing about it and i have to intervene.
it happens everywhere ( not all the time but more frequent than i would like recently) eg playing on the windowsil with cars Finley says No hamish gets upset as finley wont let him play on windowsil, go up his ladder to bed, get out of the kitchen you get the idea. Sometimes Finley will stand in his way, but not always. This morning it was Crying from Hamish 7am, Finley was saying no ( not even sure what he was not letting hamish do) i get through to check it out and Finley is still in bed and Hamish was still listening to him and getting upset and standing in the middle of his bedroom floor in tears. of course then finley gets a reaction and lies there saying NO NO NO NO NO.
I have tried, explaining to FInley that he is not the boss of Hamish and that Hamish can choose what he wants to do, i have tried telling Finley if he does not want to play with Hamish then he can move away and do something else.
I have tried explaining to Hamish not to listen to his Brother and decide for himself, and today as this behaviour has been more frequent this last few days i told Hamish i would not help and he would have to work it out for himself, but he didnt know what to do. I dont like pushing but honestly when somone is standing in your way refusing to let you past ....what else can you do, so i let Hamish push him.....but i dont feel comfortable with this tactic....in truth i have no idea how to handle this, i want Hamish to be confident and stand up for what he wants, and i want Finley to stop trying to be boss all the time.
How do i deal with this behaviour....any ideas pleeeeeaaaase poor Hamish is taking it so hard and making finley do it more
it happens everywhere ( not all the time but more frequent than i would like recently) eg playing on the windowsil with cars Finley says No hamish gets upset as finley wont let him play on windowsil, go up his ladder to bed, get out of the kitchen you get the idea. Sometimes Finley will stand in his way, but not always. This morning it was Crying from Hamish 7am, Finley was saying no ( not even sure what he was not letting hamish do) i get through to check it out and Finley is still in bed and Hamish was still listening to him and getting upset and standing in the middle of his bedroom floor in tears. of course then finley gets a reaction and lies there saying NO NO NO NO NO.
I have tried, explaining to FInley that he is not the boss of Hamish and that Hamish can choose what he wants to do, i have tried telling Finley if he does not want to play with Hamish then he can move away and do something else.
I have tried explaining to Hamish not to listen to his Brother and decide for himself, and today as this behaviour has been more frequent this last few days i told Hamish i would not help and he would have to work it out for himself, but he didnt know what to do. I dont like pushing but honestly when somone is standing in your way refusing to let you past ....what else can you do, so i let Hamish push him.....but i dont feel comfortable with this tactic....in truth i have no idea how to handle this, i want Hamish to be confident and stand up for what he wants, and i want Finley to stop trying to be boss all the time.
How do i deal with this behaviour....any ideas pleeeeeaaaase poor Hamish is taking it so hard and making finley do it more