My 3 yr old still sleeps in our bed!

[helene1108]

Anyone have advice on how to deal with this? Cole has always been a great sleeper but Bella has always wanted to sleep in our bed, since she was a baby. And everytime we break the habit with her, she'll do fine for a little while but then she'll get sick or something will happen and she's right back in bed with me again. I've banished Tim to the sofa downstairs b/c he snores so she just sleeps in his spot and she actually refers to it now as "my spot in bed". She doesn't disturb my sleep or anything when she comes in, usually in the middle of the night. But I really need to get her back in her own bed but I know she'll start crying or screaming and wake the other kids up...then I'll have 4 crying kids in the middle of the night and a husband who's downstairs snoring on the sofa (he'll say "what? I didn't hear a thing")...

I've tried reward systems, tried convincing her that her Hello Kitty doll will be lonely without her, tried telling her that Cole will get scared if she's not in the room with him....but there has to be something I haven't tried yet...any suggestions??? Anyone else dealing with this too or am I the only sap who hasn't kicked her 3 yr old out of the bed yet?

[Rudy]

No advice other then to keep hauling her in there and work with the rewards etc. :shrug:

I just bribed my 6yo :snicker: He got his reward and is now coming back in again :mad: I know I just need to get up and make him go back to his own bed. It is easier with a 6yo though. He was a tough cookie at 3yo because there were not bribes that were better then sleeping with mom.

[2blessed]

My girls are 4 and they tend to come into my room once a night most of the time...around 1-3am. I bring them back to their room. We do allow them to sleep with us if its after 5 because by that time, they are not going back to sleep....they are early risers and they lay with us as we listen to the 6am news.

Perhaps putting a time when she can come in...but resticting it specifically to that time period so it does not involve her sleep time but more of her waking up time.
As far as your dh....mine snores too and I wear earplugs and they work great! I can still hear, its not like I'm totally deaf, but it certainly dampens the snoring and I sleep fine...unless disturbed by my girls!
That way, your dh can come back into his 'spot' and your daughter will have to go back to her bed.

[virginiagirl74]

Sorry, Helene...no advice. At least they aren't BOTH in there all night...bright side?

How do you and DH have "quality time?"

[Milligrace]

I got nothin' for ya...
My guys were AWESOME independent sleepers from before 10mo's... pretty much on their 3rd b-day, J started coming into bed with us. L got curious one night about a month ago, so he comes in sometimes too.

It was the worst transition for me - I tried with consistancy for WEEKS to get J back to his own bed, but it didn't stick. And I was sleep deprived for the effort!!!

So, he starts in his bed and anywhere from 2hrs to 5hrs later, he's in our bed.

I know he has vivid dreams that wake him. That's got to be scary!

He has a double bed. Sometimes I will or DH will take him to his bed and sleep there with him.

It won't last forever (that's what I keep telling myself, anyway)

[rockin_grandma]

Sorry I have no advice... just wanted to say good luck! Our daughter (the girls' mother) was a great sleeper too, until she started teething and I brought her into our bed. She was still sleeping with us when it was time for her to start kindergarten. I told her the other kids would laugh if they found out she slept with her Mama & Daddy... and she replied "I won't tell them if you won't Mama." :snicker:

[jerseygirlie]

You know I am struggling with something similar. We recently moved (back in Dec) and ever since it's like everythnig I thaught them went out the window. Sure our circumstances changed and we have to do things differently but I am seeing myself taking then into my bed with us until t hey fall out and taking them to their rooms. I did it for the first week 'cause they were scared and confused about the new place but now I can't get them back on their own.....

Sorry, no advice here...but I will read on to see if anything they give you I can use.

[mrsljb]

The only advice I can give you is to be consistent...

I never let the kids come to bed with us, so I don't know what to tell you. Whenever DD came in, she would lay on the floor next to our bed with a pillow and blanket. With the boys, we just never brought them to bed...I think that Kevin came to our bed once, but Kyle has never been in our bed to sleep.

[Rudy]

Trying to be more helpful this time...

You could try adding music and a nightlight. Luke is afraid of the dark. If I turn his lamp off (so his brother can sleep) he will NOT stay in his own bed. Just yesterday I got them each a clip lamp to clip on to their bed so his light won't disturb his brother so much. Have plenty of stuffed animals or other comfort objects around.

Get him a dog :snicker: Luke got a cat that slept with him and he actually stayed in bed but the kitten grew up and then wouldn't sleep in his bed anymore - to busy racing around the house all night.

[helene1108]

Thank you for the responses! I wish I would've been more consistent when she started doing this but I was so desperate for sleep that I couldn't be bothered with walking her back to her room each time. So I've just let her stay there...most of the time, I don't even realize she's gotten into bed with me, she's that quiet! I wake up and there she is looking at me "morning, Mommy".

Not only do they have a nightlight in their room (she and Cole share a room), they both have a string of lights above their bed that we leave on all night. And she has princess stickers all over the wall by her bed for her to look at.

I wish our family cat would sleep with her!!!! That would probably help her stay in bed!

[helene1108]

Sorry, Helene...no advice. At least they aren't BOTH in there all night...bright side?

How do you and DH have "quality time?"

Angie, yes that is something to be happy about...at least I don't have Cole joining us!!

DH and I learned to be creative for quality time but honestly I can't even remember the last time that was an issue for us! We're both way too tired to even consider it these days!

[virginiagirl74]

Well, I guess now...forgot that the little ones are only 10 months! I hope you two can "reunite" sometime in the near future with only the adults in bed! :wink: