Anyone having this problem - Whining/Crying to get their way

[bka83]

Kayleigh and Clay are driving me nuts already. They always want what the other has. Right now, Kayleigh is crying because Clay won't give her the toy he is playing with. She's crying until he gives her the toy. :stress:

Anyone else have this problem?

[Ma Kettle]

Andy is aweful with that! If he wants something he starts crying and whining saying 'I had it, it's mine, I want it'....... until he gets sent to time-out or gets what he wants. More often time-out.

It has gotten better as in he settles down sooner and doesn't just TAKE what he wants now. But he still has meltdowns frequently.

This morning's meltdown was cereal. He wanted cereal first thing this morning and sat in front of the cereal drawer crying because he had to wait for breakfast. :hmm:

[20weekSurprise]

Yessss! Oh wait, you mean older kids. :snicker: Well, I have that problem too.

[virginiagirl74]

Yes Barb! R&H do it too. They have NO interest in that specific thing UNTIL the other one plays with it. Whining drives me insane. I cannot tolerate it. I usually end up taking the item from them both and saying, "if you are going to whine and fight, neither one of you gets it!"

[ourtwinmom]

Unfortunately I can relate! Although 99% of the time it is my DD!

Yesterday I was most thankful that the movie Groundhog Day can not happen IRL! I do not want a repeat of yesterday.

DD threw a tantrum because I forgot her goggles for swimming lessons, then she threw a fit because I said it was time to go! There were half a dozen fits thrown in there about other things as well ---- I was so spent by the end!

DS throws fits if he doesn't get to play hockey.

I was talking to DH about it last night saying what tools can I give them/teach them to ask for things w/o crying. Or is it a 3yr old thing and I'm wasting my time?

[LG37]

Yes Barb! R&H do it too. They have NO interest in that specific thing UNTIL the other one plays with it. Whining drives me insane. I cannot tolerate it. I usually end up taking the item from them both and saying, "if you are going to whine and fight, neither one of you gets it!"

:nod: We do a lot of the "If you can't work it out, then it goes on the shelf." About 50% of the time, they work it out. As long as everyone has a full belly and has taken a nap :rolleyes:

[Irishmom]

My DD who will be 4 in May, does this. All of a sudden too. If the twins have something she wants, it a horrible, annoying whine that goes straight thru my ears. I can handle crying and yelling, but whining gets me. I have started telling her (Camly), that "I cannot understand what you are saying. Could you please calm down and tell me in big girls words what you would like." By that time, (usually) A&B have lost interest in the object of her affection and we're ok again. If that doesn't happen, I Set the timer and when the timer goes off, Hannah gets her turn. If Brady or Ava wants it back, I will set the timer agian...If had worked so far.

Jess

[bka83]

Thanks ladies! I knew I wasn't the only one. I just let them cry it out, and sometimes, I take the item away that they're crying about. I know that this is just the beginning (my two older boys still fight about certain things, but at least they don't cry about it anymore:snicker: )

It was just "one of those mornings". KWIM :)

[helene1108]

I deal with this constantly too!! Doesn't it just grate your nerves????

Anyway, I do the same thing as Angie and Missy. I give them a few minutes to try to work it out themselves...sometimes they will, by saying "I'll play with it for a little while and then I'll give it to you" which is good enough most of the time to satisfy the twin who wants the toy. But if they can't work out and continue to fight, I take the toy away.

That usually results in a huge cry-fest with both of them but I just walk away and try my best to ignore it. Once they realize they're not getting attention for it OR getting the toy back, they move onto something else.

Isn't it amazing that at even at this young age, they are already figuring out how to manipulate???? LOL

[MomtoA&S]

Yep! This morning I had to take away their little keyboard because they were basically standing on each other's feet saying "my turn, my turn, my turn". It was driving me crazy.

[Steph211]

Well looks like we are suffering goether with this. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, here are examples of my twins' daily interactions:

:boxing:
:motz: :tantrum:
:wasn't: :wasn't:
:fight:
:playingball:
:bike:
:toilet2

Very occasionally, we get a little of this:

:kiss:

:popcorn2:

:aww:

I guess we just have to hang in there! (I'd stick the zen smilie here, but TMMB limits me to 12).

[2blessed]

mine are doing alot more than crying! they are hitting and pushing and pulling hair!
Usually its resolved but sometimes I do have to take the item away from both of them.

They have picked up a few things from school as well,...like saying " I don't care" "I'm telling on you" and the infamous sticking out of the tongue, which seems to happen when they are punished. Lemon juice is working well for that!:snicker:....soap did not last long to resolve that issue!

[woods]

Yep. Us too. Here's what we do. It may not be touchy feely, but they remember and then work it out without the whinefest.

OK- Kid A is playing with a particular toy. Kid B whines cries and throws a fit because he NEEDS to play with it RIGHT NOW!

I ask KID A to give the toy to KID B when he is finished playing with it. Kid A agrees. I tell Kid B that he'll have to wait until Kid A is done. Kid B either agrees or throws another fit. If Kid B chooses to throw a fit because he has to wait, he's free to do that IN HIS ROOM ALONE.

If Kid A chooses not to share the toy because it's special or new or simply says NO WAY, well then KID B is out of luck and needs to be redirected. I talk with KID A about sharing and about times that people have not shared with him and how sad he felt. If Kid A still will not share, well what goes around usually comes around w/in 24 hours.

It's not a "fairness" approach because frankly life isn't fair. They need to learn coping skills with unfairness, and learn to redirect themselves.

[mylittlelovebugs]

Yep. Us too. Here's what we do. It may not be touchy feely, but they remember and then work it out without the whinefest.

OK- Kid A is playing with a particular toy. Kid B whines cries and throws a fit because he NEEDS to play with it RIGHT NOW!

I ask KID A to give the toy to KID B when he is finished playing with it. Kid A agrees. I tell Kid B that he'll have to wait until Kid A is done. Kid B either agrees or throws another fit. If Kid B chooses to throw a fit because he has to wait, he's free to do that IN HIS ROOM ALONE.

If Kid A chooses not to share the toy because it's special or new or simply says NO WAY, well then KID B is out of luck and needs to be redirected. I talk with KID A about sharing and about times that people have not shared with him and how sad he felt. If Kid A still will not share, well what goes around usually comes around w/in 24 hours.

It's not a "fairness" approach because frankly life isn't fair. They need to learn coping skills with unfairness, and learn to redirect themselves.

:dito: this is exactly how we (or should I say "I")approach this :nod: