mom playdate question

[jeanie]

Im so glad holly has a little friend they had a play date at mcdonalds and I like her friends mom alot they even are going to dance class with us what fun. What will I do if sometime if I dont care for a mother/or she doesnt care for me and our kids want to be chummy? has this happend to you? I wont drop off my kids at someones house to play alone at this age so that wont work..and do you think at this age its important for them to have little friends..they see them at preschool but outside of that?

[lissyds]

It's not an easy issue. My daughter was friends in kindergarten with a little girl, and I did not like her mom, and I don't think she really liked me either. We got around it by going to the park where the kids could play, but we had the option to ignore each other. Also, she would come and play at our house occasionally, but my daughter never went to her house. They really played together well, so I couldn't say no just because I had issues with her mother. We just worked around it. Hope that helps.:)

[itsaboyshouse]

Very tough one, especially when they're small. I stuck to parties and school activities where I wouldn't have to communicate with the other mom. I could never take my kids on a one-on-one playdate with someone I didn't like. I couldn't bear it. As they get older, it's easier and not an issue since you don't have to be in the same room! But I've found that if I didn't like the mom, there was usually a reason--perhaps I didn't like her parenting style or something like that--and the child reflected the problem. I guess I'm saying that usually if I didn't like the mom, I wasn't to fond of her child either and would gently guide my children towards other friends.

[Mom of 5]

It woud be too awkward for me if I weren't friends with the mom.

I have solved this problem in the past by having kids get together at school functions, the playground or park, swimming, b-day parties, etc; places where the kids can play, yet the responsibility for watching the children remaining with the parent they belong to.

I've never been comfortable with dropping my child (under 7 or 8) to play at someone's house and vice versa, unless it's friendly and reciprocal.

It's too easy to end up being taken advantage of as a free babysitter, especially with younger children. BTDT and not doing it again.