I just don't know what's going on with him

[mylittlelovebugs]

I am seriously at my wits end yet again with Reagan. It seems he goes through this 'phase' every three months or so.
Right now I have such a headache for the second night in a row. And for the second night in a row Reagan has gotten up not long after he was put to bed crying...then stays up til about 10-11 or whenever we end up going to bed.

A little background with Reagan. I believe wholeheartedly there are issues with Reagan that need attention, whether it be ADHD, ADD, Bipolar- I don't know but I am trying to find out!
I am running into dead ends. I go to his ped, which I love and she does a blood work up to rule out lead or other concerns, and extensive questioning on family history and diseases including mental illnesses.
Basically she believes there are concerns but at his age peds do not want to diagnose anything like ADHD or such - they send us to a psychiatrist who after maybe months of seeing can give us a diagnosis. Well we cannot afford the time taking from work because you know they all only have hours during the day and no evening appts :rolleyes: Plus the out of pocket expense gets hefty.

Then I turn to the school system- well First steps/EI again. He was in speech for a very short time, but figured I might as well give them a shot- he does have sensory issues.
The long and short of it is I have gone through 4-5 testings, 3 meetings and they are telling me to go back to the ped and possibly ask for meds because unfortunately his issues won't come into play until it starts affecting him in school- which they are pretty confident with my answers and seeing his behavior he will need some help-! :banghead: BACK TO SQUARE ONE!
They are so sympathetic and I am not upset with the suggestion of meds at all- at this point I am about top beg for them!
They are seeing his behavior and I am already doing everything they suggest to defuse meltdowns or having him get over stimulated. I have been working VERY hard EVERY day with Reagan..lots of times when I am on TMMB he is on my lap helping me type or looking at pix. The other two like to play quietly or watch a movie or chase the cat....Reagan actually hurts the cat and it scares me.
But back to the topic...I am :stress: at the amount of attention I need to give nearly 24/7 with him and I am wearing thin. He gets in this whiny/indignant/uncontrollable/mean phase about every 3 months and it lasts for about 3 months.
When he is going through his 'phase' he takes a toll on the family :worry:

I just wish that Dr's weren't so eager to wait out what a parent knows in their gut isn't right -kwim?
They don't live the hell from day to day and only get a 15 minute glimpse of what my horrid life is with this child during his 'phases'. Everyone suffers not just him :(
Guys I am worn out, I have a bad headache yet again..and I just put Reagan down AGAIN.

Please tell me someone has gone through this and has an answer :pray:



WOW I had no idea how long this post was- I'm sorry :o:
And thanks for reading if you have gotten this far..

[camogirl]

:grouphugg My heart truly aches for parents and children in these circumstances. None of us know what hardships we may face down the road. I hope someone who has faced some of the same challenges can give you some helpful advice. Please know that we care about you and Reagan.

[virginiagirl74]

No advice, just hugs!!!!!

[mylittlelovebugs]

:grouphugg My heart truly aches for parents and children in these circumstances. None of us know what hardships we may face down the road. I hope someone who has faced some of the same challenges can give you some helpful advice. Please know that we care about you and Reagan.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v620/lovingmytwins/ashley.gifthank you- that means more then you know :o: :throb:

I hope I get someone that can shed some light here...I see a few have viewed but not posted...I know it's a hard topic to comment on, just hope someone will be able to give me hope.
Thanks Sheila you did make me feel someone "gets it". :love:


No advice, just hugs!!!!! thank you Ang :kiss:

[jmk33180]

So this may be way off base, but have you gotten him in for allergy testing yet?

Reasons I ask....

First, Spencer was never a truly joyous little kid. He would smile and laugh, but he never got really, really, really happy over anything. He was distant most of the time, although still meeting milestones. We chalked it up to his personality. After finding out about his allergies and doing a complete elimination of everything "bad" he is a completely different kid. He is so happy now. Within maybe 2 weeks he started talking and engaging much more than he was previously. He laughs at every little thing. :throb: I was amazed by the difference.

Second, a friend had a 3yo son whom they had labeled as autistic because he had the classic signs of it. He wasn't talking, detached, etc. She didn't agree with the diagnosis and had allergy testing done. Turns out he had a gluten allergy and within a few weeks of eliminating gluten he was free of every autistic symptom he was displaying.

:shrug: Something to consider.

:throb:

[catarina]

Tracy, OMG, you sound so stressed. My friend Donna (Fitz) on my BMT suggested brain mapping for my Noah, I haven't done it yet, because I've seen tremendous improvement but I'm not ruling it out. Donna is friends with Dr. Curtis Cripe if you PM her maybe he can recommend someone local to you. Here's what brain mapping is: (off the website)
Brain Mapping is a procedure that records electrical activity within the brain. The qEEG gives us the ability to view the dynamic changes taking place throughout the brain during processing tasks and assist in determining which areas of the brain are fully engaged and processing efficiently. This brain map provides us a baseline to work from while we retrain the brain.

For analysis we use the only FDA approved tool called Neurometrics, developed at the Brain Research Laboratory of New York University's Medical Center.

here's the website http://www.crossroadsinstitute.org/index.html
unfortunately they don't have a location in your area. Look at the site and read the information on there. I think it will give you a good prospective you things you maybe seeing or experiencing.

I don't have any other suggestions, hugs to you Momma!

[my3sweeties]

I am sorry you are having so much stress Tracy. Have you tried modifying his diet at all? Apparently red food dye is a huge factor in child behaviour, and at one point we were advised to avoid anything thing artificially red. No fruit punch, no cherry candies, etc. Red dye is supposed to have a chemical in it that makes some kids incredibly hyper and hard to manage.

Just a thought.

:grouphugg:

I hope this phase is finished with soon. Feel free to im me when you want to talk about it.

[Joy Nana]

Tracy, poor little Reagan and poor Mom! Maybe talk to the Dr. again, and sort of let it all hang out. I hope you get some answers!

[Rudy]

:grouphugg

Oh Tracy. That sounds so hard :(

I'm wondering if you have a Community Mental Health Clinic like ours? There is a long waiting list but they have counselors for kids and families that come to your home (so you don't have to get sitters and go to them). They do give you some ideas but they can also assess and they have psychiatrists they work with and the docs get a clearer picture because the counselors are more hands on etc. They can then hook you up with some kind of respite care so that during these difficult times someone can be with him so you can regroup and recharge and/or do some things with the other kids. I don't know if you have that there or not? The waiting list would suck but better late then never ya know? There is a sliding fee scale and I don't think they deny anyone.

If you are interested in the allergy or diet factor that was mentioned this is a really good book Is This Your Child by Doris Rapp I read it years ago and may re-read it. Tinkering with diet is so overwhelming for me that I've been avoiding the subject personally but I know I should read it again.

I don't think that was all that helpful. I wanted to respond though because I feel for you. You are working so hard and it is so frustrating and heart wrenching when you know your kid has something going on and no one is helping.

[Ma Kettle]

I do understand how frustrating and draining it is. When you try so hard and it seems like the more you try the rougher things get.

I don't have much suggestions though. The things that work for me with Rose and Charles aren't really practical for your situation.

One of the first things that actually WORKED for us though that you COULD do is bean therapy. Simplified yes... but who cares what it's technically called as long as it works.

I have several gallon jars full of dried beans. When they get hyper or extremely frustrated, angry, misbehaving excessively.... they get to sit in a chair with a pot of dried beans in their lap and an empty pot on the floor in front of them. They run their hands through the beans until they calm down, and then they are allowed to toss the beans one at a time into the pot on the floor.

Obviously you can't haul buckets of beans everywhere you go. I keep a couple textured balls the right size for little hands to roll around and squeeze in their palms in my truck.

And a trick I do for controlling fidgeting in church (since I don't allow them to bring toys and such to church) is I put a few marbles in their dress pant pockets and sew the pockets shut. They can fidget with them and roll them around in their pocket but can't take them out.

There is also velcro stuck to the underside of my kitchen table (where they do schoolwork at). It's sole purpose is to give the kids something to fidget with that's not irritating to everyone else using the table. :cringe: I can't tolerate pencil tapping.... it drives my batty!

I KNOW your issues are bigger than just fidgeting and pestering. But start small. You'll be amazed at how much relief rushes through you and how much more relaxed and patient YOU'LL be when you find that one little key that works for him to get him started.

[Bonniesboys]

:grouphugg
Sorry Tracy. I wish I had some advice for you. I hope you get answers from the dr. soon.

[carrie22]

I have a child in my class - he is 5 and I have had few instances where he has huge anger blowups etc. So his mom said to me that he did not have his medicine. I said, I didnt know he was on any - she said that it is not perscription, it is a vitamin that they take from the vitamin store or gnc. It is called something like Bright Child? They have an AM and PM formula. The difference in this kid is night and day when he doesnt have it and when he does. She said its like 20 bucks a bottle, but it may be worth a shot until you can get him tested. I have the name of it at school and the label from the bottle - since I was interested to share with other paretns at school who may not be ready to medicate thier child. I can get the exact name.

Other than that - maybe do your research and tell your doctor that this is what you want. I know they have for school age kids - and ADDES form, the Connners rating system. Or keep a journal of his daily activity so the next time you go in, you can show her exactly what is going on. You do want this straightened out before he starts school. why start him when he may have issues that may take months to get a dx and possibly affect his education.

I will get the exact name for the vitamin. oops - its child bright. here is a link
http://www.nextag.com/Hero-Nutritional-Products-Nature-64944204/prices-html

[Jane]

A little background with Reagan. I believe wholeheartedly there are issues with Reagan that need attention, whether it be ADHD, ADD, Bipolar- I don't know - they send us to a psychiatrist who after maybe months of seeing can give us a diagnosis. Well we cannot afford the time taking from work because you know they all only have hours during the day and no evening appts :rolleyes: Plus the out of pocket expense gets hefty.

I'm not sure from this if you have seen a psychiatrist yet? If not, I think it is probably the next and best step. There is no guarantee that it will take months to diagnose him, and you may find a solution sooner rather than later.
IMO it is worth it to see them once, anyway. :grouphugg

[heavensentme4]

Oh T. :( I have no advice except to give some hugs and tell you about my cousin that is 6 now but has been on meds for adhd since she was 3. She is a very hyper child that has many many tantrums and it is like she can't calm down. Nothing phases her either no type of punshiment, nothing. She has been in preschool because of a speech delay since 3 yrs old and just now in first grade she can right her name and such. She is a different child since the meds. She is calmer and sleeps better. She is learning better and more open to change. Her tantrums are less and less. She had to see a psy for the diagnosis but she finally got it.


:aww: hugs mama as I can't imagine what you are going through. It is sad to say that my cousins mom has been in and out of jail for one thing or another and I had to take her more than once and each time I have almost lost my mind.

[mylittlelovebugs]

I'm not sure from this if you have seen a psychiatrist yet? If not, I think it is probably the next and best step. There is no guarantee that it will take months to diagnose him, and you may find a solution sooner rather than later.
IMO it is worth it to see them once, anyway.
Yes, we have seen a psychiatrist three times :o: She knew we were stretched as far as getting in for appts and the fact we had to pay so much out of pocket that she tried to "hurry" her techniques and lets just say that was a bad idea :(


You ladies have given some WONDERFUL advice- I thank you :bowdown: from the bottom of my heart :o: :throb: Some of it I have tried - lots of it I hadn't thought of.
Carrie- I will definitely look into this vitamin before resorting to an rx... THANK YOU :kiss:

Heather- you are GENIOUS! You have some pretty awesome ideas and with Reagan having sensory issues MANY of what you suggested will be PERFECT for him!!! You are one amazingly crafty mother :throb:

Terri- I believe diet has a lot to do with children like Reagan too- I have noticed much of his change since we have been eating more fast food..before that I was really trying to monitor his intake. (I have another thread I am going to start pertaining to diet in general)
So I have really tried to watch what we are eating lately since I see such a drastic change in him.

Nikki- I haven't a clue if we have a prgm like that but willinging to check and see. Great idea!


Jill, I really do need to get him in for allergy testing, I guess I have have been really lax in that area with all the other DR's and dentist appts we have had lately plus Michael FT college classes it has been so hard to get to any extra appts beside the basics or emergency ones :(
I think Reagan is getting to the point of 'emergency'. If not for him - for ME.



hugs mama as I can't imagine what you are going through. It is sad to say that my cousins mom has been in and out of jail for one thing or another and I had to take her more than once and each time I have almost lost my mind.
GErri you said it!!!!!!

I thank you ladies for all your input and I will take from it!!!!:love:
I have a child in my class - he is 5 and I have had few instances where he has huge anger blowups etc. So his mom said to me that he did not have his medicine. I said, I didn't know he was on any - she said that it is not prescription, it is a vitamin that they take from the vitamin store or gnc. It is called something like Bright Child? They have an AM and PM formula. The difference in this kid is night and day when he doesn't have it and when he does. She said its like 20 bucks a bottle, but it may be worth a shot until you can get him tested. I have the name of it at school and the label from the bottle - since I was interested to share with other parents at school who may not be ready to medicate their child. I can get the exact name.

Other than that - maybe do your research and tell your doctor that this is what you want. I know they have for school age kids - and ADDES form, the Connners rating system. Or keep a journal of his daily activity so the next time you go in, you can show her exactly what is going on. You do want this straightened out before he starts school. why start him when he may have issues that may take months to get a dx and possibly affect his education.

I will get the exact name for the vitamin. oops - its child bright. here is a link
http://www.nextag.com/Hero-Nutritional-Products-Nature-64944204/prices-html

I do understand how frustrating and draining it is. When you try so hard and it seems like the more you try the rougher things get.

I don't have much suggestions though. The things that work for me with Rose and Charles aren't really practical for your situation.

One of the first things that actually WORKED for us though that you COULD do is bean therapy. Simplified yes... but who cares what it's technically called as long as it works.

I have several gallon jars full of dried beans. When they get hyper or extremely frustrated, angry, misbehaving excessively.... they get to sit in a chair with a pot of dried beans in their lap and an empty pot on the floor in front of them. They run their hands through the beans until they calm down, and then they are allowed to toss the beans one at a time into the pot on the floor.

Obviously you can't haul buckets of beans everywhere you go. I keep a couple textured balls the right size for little hands to roll around and squeeze in their palms in my truck.

And a trick I do for controlling fidgeting in church (since I don't allow them to bring toys and such to church) is I put a few marbles in their dress pant pockets and sew the pockets shut. They can fidget with them and roll them around in their pocket but can't take them out.

There is also velcro stuck to the underside of my kitchen table (where they do schoolwork at). It's sole purpose is to give the kids something to fidget with that's not irritating to everyone else using the table. :cringe: I can't tolerate pencil tapping.... it drives my batty!

I KNOW your issues are bigger than just fidgeting and pestering. But start small. You'll be amazed at how much relief rushes through you and how much more relaxed and patient YOU'LL be when you find that one little key that works for him to get him started.

I am sorry you are having so much stress Tracy. Have you tried modifying his diet at all? Apparently red food dye is a huge factor in child behaviour, and at one point we were advised to avoid anything thing artificially red. No fruit punch, no cherry candies, etc. Red dye is supposed to have a chemical in it that makes some kids incredibly hyper and hard to manage.

Just a thought.

I hope this phase is finished with soon. Feel free to im me when you want to talk about it.



Oh Tracy. That sounds so hard

I'm wondering if you have a Community Mental Health Clinic like ours? There is a long waiting list but they have counselors for kids and families that come to your home (so you don't have to get sitters and go to them). They do give you some ideas but they can also assess and they have psychiatrists they work with and the docs get a clearer picture because the counselors are more hands on etc. They can then hook you up with some kind of respite care so that during these difficult times someone can be with him so you can regroup and recharge and/or do some things with the other kids. I don't know if you have that there or not? The waiting list would suck but better late then never ya know? There is a sliding fee scale and I don't think they deny anyone.

If you are interested in the allergy or diet factor that was mentioned this is a really good book Is This Your Child by Doris Rapp I read it years ago and may re-read it. Tinkering with diet is so overwhelming for me that I've been avoiding the subject personally but I know I should read it again.

I don't think that was all that helpful. I wanted to respond though because I feel for you. You are working so hard and it is so frustrating and heart wrenching when you know your kid has something going on and no one is helping.

So this may be way off base, but have you gotten him in for allergy testing yet?

Reasons I ask....

First, Spencer was never a truly joyous little kid. He would smile and laugh, but he never got really, really, really happy over anything. He was distant most of the time, although still meeting milestones. We chalked it up to his personality. After finding out about his allergies and doing a complete elimination of everything "bad" he is a completely different kid. He is so happy now. Within maybe 2 weeks he started talking and engaging much more than he was previously. He laughs at every little thing. :throb: I was amazed by the difference.

Second, a friend had a 3yo son whom they had labeled as autistic because he had the classic signs of it. He wasn't talking, detached, etc. She didn't agree with the diagnosis and had allergy testing done. Turns out he had a gluten allergy and within a few weeks of eliminating gluten he was free of every autistic symptom he was displaying.

:shrug: Something to consider.

:throb:

[thentherewere3]

I don't have any advice for you, just a big hug...

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd192/mysmiliestmmb/happy/sLo_BigBearHug.gif